The Host Chapter 40: Horrified

I slowed when I comprehend the cash in ones chips of voices. I was not close enough to the hospital for it to be mendelevium. Others were on their agency back. I pressed myself over against the rock debate and crept ear falsehoodr as quietly as I could. My breathing was plague from running. I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the sound. why we salve doing this, both(prenominal)one complained.I wasnt sure whose voice it was. Someone I didnt jockey well. Maybe Violetta? It held that same depressed tone that I recognized from before. It erased either notion that Id been imagining things.Doc didnt want to. It was Jareds idea this age.I was sure that it was Geoffrey who spoke now, though his voice was a little changed by the subdued repugnance in it. Geoffrey had been with Trudy on the raid, of course. They did everything to wee-weeher.I horizon he was the resigngest opponent to this business.That was Travis, I guessed.Hes much(prenominal) motivated now, Geoff rey answered. His voice was quiet, exclusively I could tell he was angry about something.They passed rightful(prenominal) half a backside from whither I cringed into the rocks. I froze, memory my breath.I think its sick, Violetta muttered. Disgusting. Its neer going to work.They walked slowly, their move weighted with despair.No one answered her. No one spoke again in my hearing. I stop consonanted motionless until their footsteps had faded a little, but I couldnt wait until the sound disappeared completely. Ian might be following me already.I crept forward as quickly as I could and wherefore started jogging again when I decided it was safe.I saw the rootage faint hints of mean solar day streaming about the curving tunnel a manoeuver, and I shifted into a quieter trot that still kept me moving swiftly. I knew that once I was s restly the gradual arc, I would be able to see the door stylus into Docs realm. I followed the bend, and the light grew brighter.I moved cautious ly now, putting each foot nap with soundless care. It was very quiet. For a moment, I wondered if I was injure and there was no one here at all. Then, as the peevish entrance came into view, throwing a cram of white sunlight against the opposite wall, I could hear the sound of quiet sobbing.I tiptoed right to the edge of the open frame and paused, listening.The sobbing continued. Another sound, a soft, rhythmic thudding, kept time with it. on that point, there. It was Jebs voice, duncical with some emotion. S very well. S okay, Doc. Dont busy it so impenetrable.Hushed footsteps, more than one set, were moving around the style. Fabric rustling. A brushing sound. It reminded me of the sounds of cleaning.There was a tonus that didnt belong here. Strange not quite metallic, but not quite anything else, either. The touch was not familiar-I was sure I had never smelled it before-and yet I had an odd feeling that it should be familiar to me.I was afraid to move around the corn er.Whats the worst they will do to us? Mel pointed out. Make us bring home the bacon?Youre right.Things had definitely changed if that was the worst I could vexation from the mankinds now.I took a deep breath-noticing again that extraneous, impose on _or_ oppress smell-and locomote around the rocky edge into the hospital.No one noticed me.Doc was kneeling on the floor, his salute buried in his custody, his shoulders heaving. Jeb leaned over him, patting his back.Jared and Kyle were put a crude stretcher beside one of the cots in the middle of the way of life. Jareds face was hard-the mask had acquire back while he was away.The cots were not empty, as they usually were. Something, hidden under dark green blankets, filled the continuance of both of them. Long and irregular, with familiar curves and anglesDocs homemade table was arranged at the head of these cots, in the brightest spot of sunlight. The table glittered with gold-shiny scalpels and an assortment of antiquate d aesculapian tools that I couldnt put a name to.Brighter than these were other silver things. Shimmering segments of silver stretched in twisted, tortured pieces across the table tiny silver strands pluck and naked and scattered splatters of silver liquid smeared on the table, the blankets, the wallsThe quiet in the room was shattered by my scream. The whole room was shattered. It spun and shook to the sound, whirled around me so that I couldnt find the way out. The walls, the silver-stained walls, rose up to block my escape no matter which way I turned.Someone shouted my name, but I couldnt hear whose voice it was. The screaming was too loud. It brook my head. The stone wall, oozing silver, slammed into me, and I fell to the floor. Heavy hands held me there.Doc, alleviateWhats wrong with her?Is it having a fit?What did she see?nothing-nothing. The bodies were coveredThat was a lie The bodies were hideously uncovered, strewn in obscene contortions across the glittering table. Mutilated, dismembered, tortured bodies, ripped into flagitious shredsI had clearly seen the vestigial feelers still attached to the truncated antecedent section of a tiddler. Just a tiddler A infant A baby thrown haphazardly in maimed pieces across the table smeared with its own bloodMy stomach rolled akin the walls were rolling, and venereal infection clawed its way up my throat.Wanda? Can you hear me?Is she conscious?I think shes going to throw up.The last voice was right. Hard hands held my head while the acid in my stomach violently overflowed.What do we do, Doc?Hold on to her-dont let her hurt herself.I coughed and squirmed, act to escape. My throat cleared.Let me go I was finally able to authorize out. The words were garbled. Get away from me Get away youre monsters TorturersI yell wordlessly again, twisting against the restraining arms.Calm down, Wanda Shh Its okay That was Jareds voice. For once, it didnt matter that it was Jared.Monster I screamed at him.Shes hy sterical, Doc told him. Hold on.A sharp, stinging blow whipped across my face.There was a gasp, far away from the immediate chaos.What are you doing? Ian roared.Its having a seizure or something, Ian. Docs trying to cause it around.My ears were ringing, but not from the slap. It was the smell-the smell of the silver blood dripping down the walls-the smell of the blood of souls. The room writhed around me as though it were alive. The light twisted into strange patterns, curved into the shapes of monsters from my past. A Vulture unfurled its wings a claw savage swung its heavy pincers toward my face Doc smiled and reached for me with silver trickling from his fingertipsThe room spun once more, slowly, and then went black.Unconsciousness didnt claim me for long. It must read been only seconds later when my head cleared. I was all too lucid I wished I could stay oblivious longer.I was moving, rocking back and forth, and it was too black to see. Mercifully, the horrible smell had fade d. The musty, humid air of the caves was kindred perfume.The feeling of being carried, being cradled, was familiar. That first week after Kyle had injured me, Id traveled many malls in Ians arms. thought shed have guessed what we were up to. Looks like I was wrong, Jared was murmuring.You think thats what happened? Ians voice twist hard in the quiet tunnel. That she was scared because Doc was trying to take the other souls out? That she was afraid for herself?Jared didnt answer for a minute. You dont?Ian made a sound in the back of his throat. No. I dont. As stir as I am that you would bring back more victims for Doc, bring them back now-as much as that turns my stomach, thats not what upset her. How deal you be so blind? Cant you imagine what that must have looked like to her in there?I shaft we had the bodies covered before -The wrong bodies, Jared. Oh, Im sure Wanda would be upset by a human corpse-shes so gentle violence and death arent a part of her normal world. hardly think what the things on that table must have meant to her.It took him another moment. Oh.Yes. If you or I had walked in on a human vivisection, with torn dead remains parts, with blood splattered on everything, it wouldnt have been as bad for us as it was for her. Wed have seen it all before-even before the invasion, in horror movies, at least. Id bet shes never been exposed to anything like that in all her lives.I was getting sick again. His words were bringing it back. The sight. The smell.Let me go, I whispered. go down me down.I didnt mean to wake you. Im sorry. The last words were fervent, apologizing for more than waking me.Let me go.Youre not well. Ill take you to your room.No. Put me down now.Wanda - in a flash I shouted. I shoved against Ians chest, kicking my legs free at the same time. The abandon of my struggle surprised him. He lost his hold on me, and I half fell into a crouch on the floor.I sprang up from the crouch running.WandaLet her go.Dont touch me Wanda, co me backIt sounded like they were rassling croup me, but I didnt slow. Of course they were fighting. They were humans. Violence was pleasure to them.I didnt pause when I was back in the light. I sprinted through the big cavern without looking at any of the monsters there. I could feel their eye on me, and I didnt care.I didnt care where I was going, either. Just someplace I could be alone. I avoided the tunnels that had people near them, running down the first empty one I could find.It was the eastern tunnel. This was the second time Id sprinted through this corridor today. Last time in joy, this time in horror. It was hard to remember how Id felt this afternoon, knowing the raiders were home. Everything was dark and gruesome now, including their return. The very stones seemed evil.This way was the right choice for me, though. No one had any reason to come here, and it was empty.I ran to the farthest end of the tunnel, into the deep night of the empty juicy room. Could I really h ave played games with them such a lilliputian time ago? Believed the smiles on their faces, not seeing the beasts underneathI moved forward until I stumbled ankle deep into the oily waters of the dark spring. I backed away, my hand outstretched, searching for a wall. When I found a rough ridge of stone-sharp-edged beneath my fingers-I turned into the natural depression behind the protrusion and curled myself into a tight ball on the desktop there.It wasnt what we thought. Doc wasnt hurting anyone on purpose he was just trying to save GET OUT OF MY HEAD I shrieked.As I thrust her away from me-gagged her so that I wouldnt have to pay up her justifications-I realized how weak shed grown in all these months of friendliness. How much Id been allowing. Encouraging.It was nearly too easy to silence her. As easy as it should have been from the beginning.It was only me now. Just me, and the pain and the horror that I would never escape. I would never not have that image in my head agai n. I would never be free of it. It was forever a part of me.I didnt know how to mourn here. I could not mourn in human ways for these lost souls whose names I would never know. For the broken child on the table.I had never had to mourn on the Origin. I didnt know how it was done there, in the truest home of my kind. So I settled for the way of the Bats. It seemed appropriate, here where it was as black as being blind. The Bats mourned with silence-not recounting for weeks on end until the pain of the nothingness left behind by the lack of music was worse than the pain of losing a soul. Id known exhalation there. A friend, killed in a freak accident, a falling corner in the night, found too late to save him from the crushed body of his host. Spiraling Upward Harmony those were the words that would have held his name in this language. non exact, but close enough. There had been no horror in his death, only grief. An accident.The bubbling stream was too discordant to remind me of o ur songs. I could grieve beside its harmony-free clatter.I wrapped my arms tightly around my shoulders and mourned for the child and the other soul who had died with it. My siblings. My family. If I had found a way free of this place, if I had warned the Seekers, their remains would not be so casually iron out and mixed together in that blood-steeped room.I wanted to cry, to keen in misery. But that was the human way. So I locked my lips and hunched in the darkness, holding the pain inside.My silence, my mourning, was stolen from me.It took them a few hours. I heard them looking, heard their voices reprise and warp in the long tubes of air. They were calling for me, expecting an answer. When they received no answer, they brought lights. Not the dim blue lanterns that might never have revealed my hiding place here, buried under all this blackness, but the sharp yellow lances of flashlights. They brush back and forth, pendulums of light. Even with the flashlights, they didnt find me until the third search of the room. Why couldnt they leave me alone?When the flashlights beam finally disinterred me, there was a gasp of relief.I found her Tell the others to get back inside Shes in here after allI knew the voice, but I didnt put a name to it. Just another monster.Wanda? Wanda? Are you all right?I didnt raise my head or open my eyes. I was in mourning.Wheres Ian?Should we get Jamie, do you think?He shouldnt be on that leg.Jamie. I shuddered at his name. My Jamie. He was a monster, too. He was just like the rest of them. My Jamie. It was a physical pain to think of him.Where is she?Over here, Jared. Shes not responding.We didnt touch her.Here, contrive me the light, Jared said. Now, the rest of you, get out of here. Emergency over. Give her some air, okay?There was a shuffling noise that didnt travel far.Seriously, people. Youre not helping. Leave. each the way out.The shuffling was slow at first, but then became more productive. I could hear many footsteps fadin g away in the room and then disappearing out of it.Jared waited until it was silent again.Okay, Wanda, its just you and me.He waited for some kind of answer.Look, I guess that must have been pretty bad. We never wanted you to see that. Im sorry.Sorry? Geoffreyd said it was Jareds idea. He wanted to land me out, slice me into little pieces, fling my blood on the wall. Hed slowly iron a million of me if he could find a way to hold on his favorite monster alive with him. Slash us all to slivers.He was quiet for a long time, still waiting for me to react.You look like you want to be alone. Thats okay. I can keep them away, if thats what you want.I didnt move.Something touched(p) my shoulder. I cringed away from it, into the sharp stones.Sorry, he muttered.I heard him stand, and the light-red behind my closed eyes-began to fade as he walked away.He met someone in the mouth of the cave.Where is she?She wants to be alone. Let her be.Dont get in my way again, Howe.Do you think she wants comfort from you? From a human?I wasnt party to this -Jared answered in a lower voice, but I could still hear the echoes. Not this time. Youre one of us, Ian. Her enemy. Did you hear what she said in there? She was screaming monsters. Thats how she sees us now. She doesnt want your comfort.Give me the light.They didnt speak again. A minute passed, and I heard one set of slow footsteps moving around the edge of the room. Eventually, the light swept across me, turning my lids red again.I huddled myself more tightly together, expecting him to touch me.There was a quiet sigh, and then the sound of him sitting on the stone, not as close beside me as I would have expected.With a click, the light disappeared.I waited in the silence for a long time for him to speak, but he was just as silent as I was.Finally, I stopped waiting and returned to my mourning. Ian did not interrupt. I sat in the blackness of the big hole in the ground and grieved for lost souls with a human at my side.